I'm about to get real with you all.
Like really F'ing real.
Like I never get. . . .passionate, fueled, and a little bit of f'ing pissed
Can we talk (For a hot second) about "cheating" in a relationship. Men/Women/Gay/Straight. . . . I don't care. . . . listen to this.
You don't just "cheat" on your partner, your soul mate, your life mate or your spouse.
You don't just "make a mistake."
You don't just "promise it'll never happen again."
You don't just "work through it."
Why? Because it takes a really FUCKING long time to undo the PHYSICAL damage (not even talking about the emotional damage it does) that it causes to the body.
Is this abuse?? Causing physical damage to someone you love?
Not technically, but it should be.
At first, when you find out you've been cheated on, there's a SURGE of adrenaline. Very similar to the surge of adrenalin you have when you have a baby. The act of being BETRAYED is one of the HARDEST things for the adrenals to process.
Along with this surge of adrenaline, there's also a surge of cortisol, You know, the stress hormone? Yea, that one.
What happens when we experience high loads of stress in a short time? If we don't "FIGHT" or "FLEE" with all that excess adrenalin, those excess hormones get sent to our liver to be filtered as if it were a toxin.
Here's the kicker. . . . Your liver, (which works insuffieciently for 90% of people) coincidentally ALSO holds on to emotions such as ANGER and RESENTMENT.
If your liver isn't running up to par, chances are, you'll be unable to process those excess toxins, along with other pathogens your body is trying to clear out for you.
But it doesn't stop here.
Being cheated on, betrayed, let down, lied to, etc. also creates Sympathetic Nervous System Activation aka "Fight or flight."
Now, if you've been cheated on in the past, you KNOW it's not just ONE conversation, SO all the thoughts that run through your head about how, why, what did I do to deserve this ALSO creates that same stress response.
That Fight or Flight state or what I call "sympathetic dominance" ALSO
-Shuts down your digestion
-Contracts your muscles
-Shuts down your immune system
-Creates negative thoughts, fears, and worry
AND MAKES IT ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOUR BODY TO HEAL!!!!!
And then it continues, the phone calls, checking e-mails, checking text messages, fighting for truth.
Stress resonse, stress respsonse, stress response.
Our body will NEVER break down on us through long states of happines and bliss (what is that even?)
And it will never HEAL when you're running in SURVIVAL MODE.
Survival mode. . . . . your body provides ONLY the necessary functions to survive in a time of stress and nothing else.
So connect the dots.
You get cheated on. Your self confidence tanks, your heart breaks, you've lost trust, you fear for your future, you fear for your children's future.
YOu start having restless nights, you start having some muscle aches.
Then mabe you start forgetting things or it seems like you can't lose weight.
THEN the fatigue kicks in. You forget who you are. You don't feel like yourself. You're going through the motions and you feel like you have NO quality of life. . . . .
Your sex drive is in the gutter, you exercise to no avail, you can't sleep and all anyone can tell you is that "it's all in your head."
Then you wake up and decide you can't live like this anymore and you start looking for REAL help.
Let me explain something. I have worked with COUNTLESS people (men and women) on emotional healing, mystery illness, adrenal fatigue, epstein barr, etc. You want to know the one thing they all have in common?
Are there stressors worse than being cheated on? Yes.
But let me tell you this.
Healing physically from betrayl is JUST as hard as healing emotionally.
Before you cheat. . . . start an online relationship. . . . start flirting. . . . start deleting texts. . . . or deleting phone calls, think about the PHYSICAL DAMAGE you are causing to the person you're supposed to love, honor and cherish.
The person providing for your children.
Is that a sacrifice you're willing to make?
If you can't commit to a realtionship, then get the fuck out of it.